New Year Tings.

It’s 2018.

2017 flew by quickly but still dragged me lol.

I’m glad it’s over.

Grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned and the strength that surfaced during the trials and tribulations I faced.

I’ve loved and I’ve lost. Karma caught up with me in more ways than one. 

I gained some of the best people I could have ever asked for and lost people I thought would be with me forever. I lost my job and found a better one. I moved back home after swearing I wouldn’t lol. I’ve been going through it all but I kept a smile on my face and pushed tf through, hello!

That’s just the motion though.

You do what you can until you can do better.

But I want this year to be different.

Really different.

I remember when I found out Dre passed away. 

I was at work and I became hysterical.. So hysterical that I just sat in the bathroom and sobbed, ignoring the fact that I was literally at my job lol. Man. I didn’t care. 

One of my coworkers came in and saw me.

‘Are you okay? This isn’t like you, you’re always around here smiling and laughing.’ 

Briefly broke down the situation to her and she just held me.

She held me and I told her how I didn’t know what to do about anything anymore. I had been past my limit a long time ago but I kept going. 

She simply said to me.. ‘All this means is that 2018 is your year of jubilee.’

“In Judaism and Christianity, the concept of the Jubilee is a special year of remission of sins and universal pardon. In the Book of Leviticus, a Jubilee year is mentioned to occur every fiftieth year, during which slaves and prisoners would be freed, debts would be forgiven and the mercies of God would be particularly manifest.”

Yeah. I definitely needed one of those lol cause I felt like I was getting kicked in my head continuously.

I do believe that it’s my year though. Need it to be yours too.

I never really think that at the beginning of each year because I really do be going with the flow. 

Not this time. I’m taking back control of my life. No more spiraling. No more toxic coping mechanisms. No more being the victim. I’m not feeding my demons, those mf’s bout to starve.

I am a survivor. I am brilliant and resilient. The world is mine and I will do whatever it takes to prove it.

Not to anyone in particular but to myself. For sure. 

You guys. It’s so important to feed your focus and starve your distractions.

Do not let anyone or anything hold you back this year.

I believe in you. Please make this year worth it. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t see progress right away. 

People say New Year’s Resolutions are corny but it’s not their life and it’s not their journey. Do you. And do you unapologetically.

I would share my New Year’s Resolutions but I wouldn’t want to sabotage anything. They’ll show themselves in time.

I love you all so much.

Thank you for rocking with me and my little blog. I have big plans for this and I can’t wait to share.

May your 2018 be filled with lots of love, happiness, peace, good health, more wealth, many blessings. 

Rest in Peace to all the loved ones who couldn’t be here with us. 

May all your dreams come true this year and every year after.

Happy New Year!

Until next time, 

Raye.