Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Journal Chronicles I

Honestly, the past two weeks have been a whirlwind and I am truly exhausted.
So exhausted that I completely neglected my duty as a writer and had nothing prepared for my blog.
I feel like I'm so serious most times when I do a post so this one I'll ease up.
Because at the end of the day, this is still a personal blog. I started it to talk about my life and my thoughts on certain topics and situations of life with hopes that I can help and entertain.
So far, it's been going just fine but here's a little humor for your week. Less serious.
Just me chatting to ya.
I'll just get you guys up to speed on the shambles that I call my life.

First of all, I'm not as deep into the shambles as I was because I have a new job!


Yesssss, I'm blessed because I was only jobless for four months but nonetheless, it was rough being broke fam. Thank you God for keeping me always. I learned a lot about myself and the people around me during that time and.. Man. It's been serious.
Anyways, I won't really disclose where I work at the moment but eh, I might as well tell y'all lmao..
Being the new girl is hard. You got people constantly tryna get to know you but if you already know me, you know that ain't my cup of tea. LMAOO.
Bro.
Story time.
So, I couldn't find my way around but a part of my job requires me doing these drop offs.
Man so, I asked this dude in a different department where do I find [redacted]. He introduced himself (we'll call him Jim) and whatever but I wasn't into all of that. However, I was nice about it cause ya girl was lost as a mf and it was still my first week. Anyways, Jim talked about his department and what he does then he told me where I needed to go. 5 minutes tops. I haven't seen him since. Why is that relevant?
WELL.
Another dude from that same department (we'll call him Jeff) walks up to me while I was having breakfast in the cafeteria the following week. Jeff asks if he could sit with me.

Now y'all know very well the real me was like..



But, I just said okay. It couldn't be that bad right? Just being nice right? Yeah, I thought. It was all good until he started talking.

'So, you new right?'



I'm like, 'Yeah. But you already knew that.'

So he proceeds to say 'So I heard that you and Jim talking. I wanted to know if it was serious.'

Here are a series of gifs that describe my reactions.



I almost choked on my grits. CAUSE WELL UNCLE ASS WHAT YOU MEAN?
I talked to the young man for 5 minutes. What else we talk about besides our shared workplace?
SMT.
I told Jeff, don't mix me up cause I don't know him, he don't know me. And you don't know me either. Now leave me alone. I also added that I'm quiet for a reason, don't bother me.

Dat was weird y'all. Time now, I was saying in my head.. Muddoe, when I see this Jim character again, I'll fckn...




Well. I haven't seen him and it's been another week so I'm over it. I will admit that I've been wary of literally everyone there ever since. I dunno.. I'm actually always really uncomfortable when a male hits on me or compliments me nowadays. Even if I'm attracted to you. I'm the weird one huh? My daddy told me I gotta realize the world doesn't revolve around me. Like sir, first of all, you made me like this. 

Kidding. I don't think the world revolves around me. I do firmly believe in my own space though.. I don't like to share this solitude with anyone. And not working for that short period of time pushed me back into my introverted ways. I don't like talking unless I have to or unless I like you. And you can ask my friends, I talk a lot but when I don't.. I really don't. I'm perfectly fine being in someone's company and not speaking the entire time. So, I dunno. Maybe I'm the weird one.

But besides all of that, the job itself is cool. I'm grateful for it. 

Recently, my mental state has been a bit shaky. I'm battling with myself and I kinda know why.
I'm working on being a positive being after having a convo with my dad. In the same breath of telling me the world doesn't revolve around me.... He also told me that the only person that's keeping me from my dreams and goals is me. I already knew that but when other people see it, it's a bit offsetting for me. I've never been good at receiving criticism because I'm sensitive as a mf.. But as I get older, it's getting better. It's so important to me at this point that I'm not compromising my dreams for anybody or anything. My dreams are everything to me and I'll do whatever I have to for them to come true. I believe in myself. That's the key. Be your biggest fan guys. Be proud of yourself, pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug. Reassure yourself. Stay focused. Pray. Drink water.
Also, do me a favor and don't settle for anything less than you deserve. 

Reminder to not be a procrastinator and to not be so hard on myself. 
This is your reminder as well. You're only human. You're doing your best. 
If you KNOW you're not doing your best, stop practicing caca and get on that.

Did I mention the dude at work who was eating his grits out of a glass?????
Man.
LMAOOO. Y'all have no idea about the things I see every day.

Anyways!

It's about that time. I'm still doing research for a project I'm working on.
So, you know I love ya. Thanks for reading this blog written by a girl from the western part of an island. See you soon.


Hearts & hugs,
Raye.







Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Shaking The Table: Double Standards

Okay guyssss, this is a special blog because we have a special guest!
Show some love to Colin! He's a writer for The Solid (as am I) which is under maintenance at the moment but will be back soon!
Real excited to do this collab because 1.) YO I HAVE A GUEST! 2.) Colin is hellaaaa funny plus he’s real and raw, straight to the point always.
Okay, so this one was weighing on me for a bit because I'm all for equality.
I grew up around boys so obviously they got to do things I wanted to but couldn't because I'm a girl.
I think this is so good to have a male perspective cause y'all probably would wanna fight me lmao.
But I wanna touch on some of these stereotypes society has placed on both genders.

Side note: I'm not gonna be trashing men completely but just giving my opinion. Y'all already know, I'm not a professional!
Side note on the side of the first side note: We did this independent of each other so any similarities in our opinions are completely coincidental.

Colin: I guess I should introduce myself seeing that this is my first time here. You can refer to me as Colin or as my alias "Sway" because I don’t have all the answers. I typically say stuff that make sense most of the time, but meh. Take it as you wish. Ok on to the meat of things. Raye invited me to give some perspective on some gender issues that we all should be familiar with.

- Only women can be hoes; they must have a body count of one or none or her value decreases. Men? They can smash as many women as they please and it's nothing. 

Raye: Well, that's bullshit tbh. It's your body. Do what you want. Your value is not determined by a man. Your worth is not determined by the amount of people you sleep with. That doesn't make you more or less 'wifeable'. First of all, who wants to be your wife little boy? What can you do for me besides give me dick and a headache? Why do you feel so entitled to a woman with little to no sexual history when you've been all over the place? Cause really lol, niggas be worried about your count and can't remember their own. Can't fix ya mouth to call someone's daughter a hoe while you and your siblings have different last names. IF you wanna be like that and get technical. Niggas be out here with double digits, slinging dick any and everywhere and it's 'just boys being boys'. Y'all praise these niggas while they're whoring but God forbid a woman does the same lol. Y'all be pressed as hell. It literally has nothing to do with you, to me, because the only part of my sexual history I feel needs to be shared with a partner or potential partner is whether or not I have/had STD's. That's it. Hear me out though, DO NOT let these niggas use and abuse you. Do what you're comfortable with doing because they still gonna chase you whether your count is 2 or 20. (Shout out Tin for that last line.)

Colin: The Ipsilateral Body Count debate. Apparently, its 2017 and it’s wrong to shame women for being sexually liberal. In my humble opinion, I’m sorry it took so long it to happen. The indoctrinated patriarchal values prevalent in society has enslaved our women to an unjust social norm that disallows them to grine whomsoever they please without being labeled (hoe, slut etc.). On the other side, men are revered for their sexual achievements; the more the better and sadly, the younger you start juicing the more accolades you receive from your colleagues. But, yea. Does it all matter? Should a man worry if he is doggy number 34 on his WCW’s list? Or should a woman be weary if the dude she’s about to court only had one partner before her and may be wack in bed? My answer: Who the f*ck cares?
Like I said before, I don’t have the answers so this is just how I see things. If I’m number 50 for a lady that I’m interesting in, there best not be no 51. You gatta be done with the juicing game when you dealing dis here. “Dizzz Dick Aint Freeeee” * Kendrick Lamar voice*. If you wanna continue on your penis sampling rampage, then go right ahead. You don’t need my Vienna. I’m relationship oriented and at my current age, my end goal is marriage so if you’re not in a similar mindset then, be gone. This simply saying that I don’t really care about body counts… just don’t grine none of my boys. This is all I ask.
On the flipside again, ladies who have on the hazard lights because she is dating a virgin and fear his inexperience, don’t worry. An extraordinary sexual encounter is just as emotional as it is physical. Just how he can learn you as a person, he can learn your body and give out the proper jooks. Just teach him. Simple.

- A man is born to lead and women are meant to follow. A man taking charge shows 'leadership abilities'while a woman taking charge only makes her out to be 'bitchy' or 'bossy'.

Raye: Lmao listen. The only thing I can really admit is that everyone cannot be a leader. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, some women in authority can be bitchy/bossy but it's only because she has to demand respect. Most men cannot stomach having a woman as a boss. They be tryna undermine them or make them feel small and it's uncalled for. She's the boss for a reason. Praying that it's the wholesome reason of hard work and perseverance (no shade) so I can follow up with this.. If you wanted to be the boss, you would have put in the work. Some men be in top positions with women as their advisors. Guys be flexing their muscles as CEO and really owe their success to a woman. Humble yourselves people. Same people you pass on the way up, you gotta pass them on the way down. Kudos to the real self made bosses out here. Men and women.

Colin: I don’t even know who the hell thinks this. In case y’all didn’t know, women are very much capable humans compared to men. They can be leaders. They can be Presidents. They can be Prime Ministers. They can be Pastors (or Pastress. I think I just made that word up). They can be, dare I say it, Leaders of Political Parties…..And you know what’s the funny thing…..THEY ARE. Other parts of the world other than the U.S. and The Bahamas, we have high ranking women doing jobs typically dominated by men. But, yea. Women solid bey. Y’all take charge hya.

- Men are the providers and women should be content as housewives.

Raye: I might as well tell ya. I ain't no housewife. I ain't bout to be a stay at home mom or nothing like that lol. I have big dreams, I got golden goals. I don't see any issue in both of us providing for our household. That equal effort will make a huge difference to me. I don't care how much I work, I'd never neglect my children. Or my house. Nigga, do you knowwww how hard I worked for the things I have now? Imagine how hard I'll go for my seed or my home. Psh. I'm not marrying anybody who doesn't have the same drive as me. You crazy if you think I'm gonna just squash the independence I fought for though. Yeah, you can take care of me but I'll take care of you as well. 50/50. I plan to have assets and certain things set in place by the time I'm ready to get married so. Godspeed.

Colin: Oh yea, no bey. Y’all may take this for a joke, but let me marry a woman who making more money than me. SHE is the breadwinner in this relationship. I CAN’T WAIT. People have their own definitions of relationships/marriage and I have mine. A relationship isn’t 50/50; its 100/100. Everybody give their all. Not just finances but this goes for every intangible aspect of relationships as well. Furthermore, roles are dynamic. If I am the best chef in the world and I’m very domesticated, I could expect to put more hours in the kitchen than my lady. If my lady has her certification from BTVI for Electrical Installation, who you think I calling to install this ductless? If I wanna take paternal leave from work to take care of my 3 month old while my lady must work, why can’t I? If my lady grew up servicing cars with her old man all her life and now owns a lucrative automotive repair shop, why I going to Nassau Motors? Baby you better change that oil filter and stop joking. If I marry Ronda Rousey and someone trying to rob us at knife point, INE FIGHTING! You the Power Ranger. Protect US! Fuck adhering to gender roles. Who is best to do it should do it when they can do it.

- A man in touch with his emotions is weak; showing emotion is something only women should do.

Raye: BABYBOY CRY TO ME! If you ask me, being emotionally unavailable is a weak trait. I feel everything but I've been at a point where I've felt nothing. Apathy is not attractive. It alienates the people that care about you. I know too many men who don't know how to express themselves or show emotion. They turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms (excessive drinking and smoking are big ones) and it's just something we brush off.. That's messed up. I don't care what society says, I'm speaking for most if not all women, WE LOVE TO SEE EMOTION. Tell me why you're sad, tell me why you're angry, tell me why you're happy, tell me when you don't even know what the hell it is you're feeling. It's healthy to express yourself! It's important to me that everybody's feelings are acknowledged and respected. Sometimes we can overlook this in men because we all grew up being taught that they're the strong ones, that we must depend on them as our support system always. Well, remember that your support system needs a support system as well.

Colin: Simply put, society made this a thing. I’m sure everyone knows the phrase, “real men don’t cry” or some shit like that. Quite honestly, its bullshit. Humans experience emotions and males are human. Thus, males experience emotions. It’s the suppressing of those emotions that are toxic to the person can consequently manifest itself in other shitty personality traits like narcissism, violent tendencies, homophobia, xenophobia etc. (That last one hurt the most. Like why would you hate the Warrior Princess for any reason. I digress). The case with this is, I do believe us men should be able to (at the very least) learn how to display emotion. Fellas, I know you have emotions, just know (or learn) how to express them. If you’re sad, you can cry. Its ok. However, don’t go and Snapchat story of you all snotty up, lookin like an ass. Another thing that is recommended, talk to someone. A close friend, a counselor, a parent, your lady. If you need to tweet lyrics for 6 months, go ahead. Just don’t make it public like an ass. If you sad about spending Toyota Passo money in Ferragamo for a woman who cheated on you, you can cry fam. You can be depressed. You still a man. We all make mistakes. For the ladies, don’t emasculate your man if he cries. Just don’t. Be a pillar of strength for him. Society already is against him for not being an alpha male or at least not feigning the bravado well enough. Help him through it. Don’t buff him and go tell all your friends about it making him look like an ass.

- Women cannot sexually harass or rape men. 'What grown man lets a woman take advantage of them?'

Raye: Ironic of me to be defending males in this one but here it is. I've had male friends sexually assaulted. I mean, real life sexual assaulted. Bey, I'm sick of telling people consent is consent and no is no; there is no grey area. Even with the stories of 12 year old dudes losing their virginity to women of consenting age..  People laugh these things off when it happens to a male but it's just not funny. Like, you wouldn't think it's funny if your 14 year old daughter/sister lost her virginity to a 24 year old man right? Same rules apply. Rape jokes, actual rape/sexual assault.. I know dudes that were drugged man. I'm gonna skate off of this by saying, take this one seriously. Rape can happen to men. Women can be predators too. Don't put anything past anyone.

Colin: Ok, yes. Women can sexually harass a male. No means “NO” ma’am.

- Females can be bisexual and praised but bisexual men are shunned.

Raye: LOLLL, I hate this one fr. Cause niggas look at gals like they some type super hybrid goddess when they say they go both ways but if a nigga says that, everyone cringing and saying 'no bey, he can't be bi, he like man'. Ok, lmao. It's all fun and games until that same bisexual gal you so cool with steal ya gal after that threesome you planned. That's how life goes.

Colin: Ok, yea. Men can be bisexual, but ma boy, you can call it whatever you want. If ya practice gay shit, ya like man. Dassit. If you like poking bootyholes then that is on you. No judgment here. If you like poking bootyholes and pum pum holes, all power to ya. Just let us be clear, you may not like exclusively man, but you is be liking “some” man. You can’t be bisexual without like likin man so….. there’s that.

- Men should not hit women, regardless of if they are provoked.

Raye: Buddy.. I know not only me was taught the concept of hitting someone back when they hit you. I saw a video the other day where this dude told the girl over and over don't hit him. She still hit him and nobody stopped her. It wasn't until he bounce her head off the pavement that people intervened. Long story short, if you don't want someone's son punching ya head clean off.. Don't hit him. Just. DON'T HIT HIM. Me? I understand the consequences of laying hands on people and as much as I joke about fighting and stuff, I don't bother unless someone bothers me. If I swing, I'm fully aware that a fight will most likely ensue. If ya can't take a punch, sit small until ya name get called.

Colin: Don’t put hands on nobody’s child and be upset with the result. You cannot be upset with someone’s reaction if you incited it. If I slap somebody and they shoot me, that’s my wibe! What I doing slapping people? I can’t control someone’s reaction to what I did. Yea, the response may be excessive or maybe even illegal, but it could have been avoided if I didn’t do anything in the first place. Back to the men/women thing. If a woman in my face, shouting, cursing and sending verbal threats (which is a crime btw), and I push her forcefully off of me, then she punches me square in my jaw and before she delivers another I give her one Big Texas, who is in the wrong? If anyone say me then you are the problem with the world. Your constant propagation of double standards are ruining this country and we are getting rid of y’all in 2018.

- Women always have to be on guard and refrain from tempting/enticing men to rape.

Raye: F*CK ALL THAT NOISE BRO! Just stop raping people what the f*ck! You can be fully clothed and if a man wants to rape you, he'd rape you. Again, like I say constantly.. Consent is consent and no is no. Shame on all the old people that constantly get at females for dressing how they want. Let me wear my shorts and crop tops bro. It sucks that we live in a world where people make excuses for their failure to teach their sons respect and self control. You are not entitled to my body. I do not owe you anything. It ain't fun having to carry weapons around and basically live a paranoid life. I was never this paranoid until it happened to me so this is me saying it can happen to anyone. I'll end this thought with this quote, idk where it's from but it's relevant.. "While we teach our daughters to be cautious, let's also teach our sons not to objectify, dehumanize or sexualize women."

Colin: Women don’t have to do shit with herself to avoid rape. Rapists just need to stop f*cking raping. Like I said before, NO means “NO”. How is a short skirt “asking for it”? You know what you should do? Actually ask her for it and if she say no, then DON’T RAPE HER! Don’t touch her. Don’t Bill Cosby her to make her “pliable”. How is this hard to do?
Stealing is a crime and it is wrong. If I decide to leave my car open with $10,000 on the seat, did I ask the world to steal my money/car? Hell no. It’s not yours. Leave people teengs. Thieves need to stop thieving. Rapists need to stop raping.
If I see a defenseless baby chilling in the crib and I say, “boy this baby open, I should punch this baby head clean off for not knowing how to fight”. You see how much of y’all jaw dropped? You know it’s wrong, right? OK then.
Flipside: This goes for women as well. You shouldn’t grab a man’s privates or his butt if he didn’t give you consent. That’s sexual assault. If the roles were reversed, it would have been a no-brainier right? Dude was losing his job one shot. Another scenario is when females say they can just take it from their man whenever she wants. “His penis doesn’t belong to him anymore”. If a woman even whispers rape (not to mention it was from the hands of a celebrity), he was getting locked up and the court of public opinion would burn him at the stake. So, I implore females to think of this whenever their toxic femininity shows its ugly head by claiming entitlement to a man’s body.

Well guys..
There ya have it. Two sides from both genders in this topic! Don't feel there's much more to say so we done here!


Until next time,
Raye

P.S. It's November 1, which means it's almost December, which means CHRIMAAAAA IS COMINGGGG BIHHHH!